Sigh....
I'm feeling so wasted... I dont want to lift up my IPRA textbook, in which I havent even touched yet... and the examination is next week...
I got 70+ for the IPRA test.... I'm like so dead...
How am I going to maintain my average of Bs to get into the specialist course?....
This is killing me...
No.. really... my laziness is going to be my ultimate downfall...
I've spent the whole night in front of the computer looking at htmls from other sites... and wondering how on earth can I change my already VERY complicated blog template..
Then I realized that it is almost impossible...
By that time, it was already 10:30...
BAH... 20x
I am scheduled for worship practice this saturday after my minor break for 2 weeks... I really dont feel like going actually...
I dont even feel like I belong in my church anymore... The people there are super cool and super fun... but they all talk stuff which I dont know or cant relate too...
Mostly about soccer, basketball and sports related stuff...
And I'm not close at all to the gals... maybe only Evelyn...
Sigh... But I'm binded by responsibility to St. Matthew's Church... I was born there, brought up there, and my childhood friends are all there....
Moreover, if I leave now, there will not be any pianist or keyboardist for at least another year or so that can commit as much "time" as me...
I wonder if God knows my effort....
Talking about effort... Does society acknowledge effort or result?
It is extremely debatable...
But I mean like.. duh... Everything is based on results...
If you are the boss of a company, you gave the assignment to a person and he works night and day for 2 weeks, and completes it with average results
Compared to a person who worked for 2 days, and completed the assignment with even better results.....
The boss will definately sack the 1st person or at least re-post him to an easier position, and promote the person who is extremely "efficient"...
So, as you can see... The world does not acknowledge effort, but only result....
Bottom line is.. if you know that you can never compare to another group of people, give up totally and work with another...
This will increase your chance of survival substentially...
Thus, I have given up most hope of achieving my dreams of being in the honour's roll in DMC....
No matter how much effort I put in, it NEVER EVER shows...
My life is just so great..........
Tomorrow is the IVP examination, and I dont even know what to talk about...
It is as though I could just fall flat on my face and die during the examination...
April Fools?...
I might as well fool around with the lecturer... I wont be getting my ideal results anywayz...
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Feeling good..
I was reading through this list I found on one of Sonia's friend's blog....
It brought a tear to my eye as I realized that I have experianced every single one of those below...
Even the drive on a pretty road.. jus that it was a bicycle...
My past...... how I miss every single one of those times...
Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one...
IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end.
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favourite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake ... (or vanilla ... or strawberry!)
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20-£ note in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. (it's missing?)
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke.
24. Friends.
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to
sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies (and eating them...!).
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good
or bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much-desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
It brought a tear to my eye as I realized that I have experianced every single one of those below...
Even the drive on a pretty road.. jus that it was a bicycle...
My past...... how I miss every single one of those times...
Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one...
IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end.
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favourite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake ... (or vanilla ... or strawberry!)
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20-£ note in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. (it's missing?)
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke.
24. Friends.
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to
sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies (and eating them...!).
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good
or bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much-desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Suicide?.... dotz...
You scored as Suicide. Your death will be suicide. What more can I say? Fact: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
How Will You Die?? created with QuizFarm.com |
I scored as a Christian! i hope...
 | You scored as Christianity. Your views are most similar to those of Christianity. Do more research on Christianity and possibly consider being baptized and accepting Jesus, if you aren't already Christian. Christianity is the second of the Abrahamic faiths; it follows Judaism and is followed by Islam. It differs in its belief of Jesus, as not a prophet nor historical figure, but as God in human form. The Holy Trinity is the concept that God takes three forms: the Father, the Son (Jesus), and the Holy Ghost (sometimes called Holy Spirit). Jesus taught the idea of instead of seeking revenge, one should love his or her neighbors and enemies. Christians believe that Jesus died on the cross to save humankind and forgive people's sins.
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com |
omg.. i'm 28% satanist... eekz
Boring THoughts...
LoLzz... I didnt blog yesterday... so before I post an ultra super duper boring post about "The Boring Life of Thirtieth March"
Anywayz.. Yesterday was a really weird day for me...
I woke up in the morning and guess wad.. there was sand around my bed... ewww.... My bro must have walked around the house in his army boots...
arrgh!... I just had the house mopped yesterday... and I have to sweep it all over again....
If I step on another grain of sand... I'm going ta kill him...
Have been feeling really un-fit recently... Havent been working out nor have I even taken a look at the pool.. its really examination fever.... boohoohoo...
Actually I wanted to go to SP everyday but it seemed so dumb just to go there to go "exercise" so I decided to stay at home....
(btw... Sonia has an extra super duper long AHHHHH on her blog.. go see!)
oh yah... My grandma has been acting very weird recently too.. toldya it was a weird day...
First, she called me to ask if it was Sunday...
Then, I said no.. it was only Tuesday...
Then she asked if we were going to church.... (everybody start to roll ya eyes...)
Then I said that we only go church on Sunday...
Then she asked if it was Sunday today...
.... and this went on for quite some time... so I continue to humour her and myself as I had nothing better to do...
after awhile, she accepted the fact that it wasnt Sunday and put down the phone...
20 minutes later, she showed up at my house... and said that she was prepared to go to church... can you belive it?>_< omg....
So I coax her into the living room and turned on the television and she soon forgot everything and started talking crap again...
At least she helped me with the laundry =P
weeeell..... the eccentricities of the elderly... senior citizens... centinarians... ancients... whatever....
So now.. what is left of the School Term is
1) IVP Discussion Cafe - This week
2) IPRA Examination - 2 weeks from now
3) FUNE Examination - 2 weeks from now...
So.. I'm relatively free now....
But I'm bored stiff... usually around these times, when I have nothing to do I would go out with my AJ friends and walk about aimlessly talking about the funny ups and downs that we have in life....
But now... I've kinda took an extra-super-duper long vacation away from the AJ society...
And looks like I wont be going back again...
But at what cost?.... I miss my friends... especially Calvin kor and Nicky didi who has always been so close to me...
sigh...
I really dunno if I made the right decision....
It so difficult to connect with all the straight guys out there....
haiz....
I feel more and more distant from my church friends... as they are mostly busy or talking about soccer and stuff which I have no interest in or I dont understand....
So how on earth am I suppose to relate to them?
boo hoo hoo...
erpz...
Think I've blogged to much..
Ciaoz! peePz....
Happy Birthday Tim...
Anywayz.. Yesterday was a really weird day for me...
I woke up in the morning and guess wad.. there was sand around my bed... ewww.... My bro must have walked around the house in his army boots...
arrgh!... I just had the house mopped yesterday... and I have to sweep it all over again....
If I step on another grain of sand... I'm going ta kill him...
Have been feeling really un-fit recently... Havent been working out nor have I even taken a look at the pool.. its really examination fever.... boohoohoo...
Actually I wanted to go to SP everyday but it seemed so dumb just to go there to go "exercise" so I decided to stay at home....
(btw... Sonia has an extra super duper long AHHHHH on her blog.. go see!)
oh yah... My grandma has been acting very weird recently too.. toldya it was a weird day...
First, she called me to ask if it was Sunday...
Then, I said no.. it was only Tuesday...
Then she asked if we were going to church.... (everybody start to roll ya eyes...)
Then I said that we only go church on Sunday...
Then she asked if it was Sunday today...
.... and this went on for quite some time... so I continue to humour her and myself as I had nothing better to do...
after awhile, she accepted the fact that it wasnt Sunday and put down the phone...
20 minutes later, she showed up at my house... and said that she was prepared to go to church... can you belive it?>_< omg....
So I coax her into the living room and turned on the television and she soon forgot everything and started talking crap again...
At least she helped me with the laundry =P
weeeell..... the eccentricities of the elderly... senior citizens... centinarians... ancients... whatever....
So now.. what is left of the School Term is
1) IVP Discussion Cafe - This week
2) IPRA Examination - 2 weeks from now
3) FUNE Examination - 2 weeks from now...
So.. I'm relatively free now....
But I'm bored stiff... usually around these times, when I have nothing to do I would go out with my AJ friends and walk about aimlessly talking about the funny ups and downs that we have in life....
But now... I've kinda took an extra-super-duper long vacation away from the AJ society...
And looks like I wont be going back again...
But at what cost?.... I miss my friends... especially Calvin kor and Nicky didi who has always been so close to me...
sigh...
I really dunno if I made the right decision....
It so difficult to connect with all the straight guys out there....
haiz....
I feel more and more distant from my church friends... as they are mostly busy or talking about soccer and stuff which I have no interest in or I dont understand....
So how on earth am I suppose to relate to them?
boo hoo hoo...
erpz...
Think I've blogged to much..
Ciaoz! peePz....
Happy Birthday Tim...
Hi Sonia
boo hoo hoo
Because I havent studied for anything yet
Boo hoo hoo... lets cry together
(For your information, this is just what me and Sonia are doing in the BizIT library now... haha.. we are THIS bored...)
"If you have read Sonia's blog and curiosity got the better of you... well then.. sorry to disappoint you folks... boo hoo hoo.. hahahaha =P"
boo hoo hoo
Because I havent studied for anything yet
Boo hoo hoo... lets cry together
(For your information, this is just what me and Sonia are doing in the BizIT library now... haha.. we are THIS bored...)
"If you have read Sonia's blog and curiosity got the better of you... well then.. sorry to disappoint you folks... boo hoo hoo.. hahahaha =P"
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIMO! xD
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIMO! xD
Its your day ta-day...
You're turning 18 ta-day...
la la la la la la la laaaa...
that makes me the YOUNGEST guy in the class!! hahaha....
BOO! haha!
oh ermz... yah.. still got Jonathan... Nevermind.. he's my twin bro.. so we can both be de-ma youngest boyz in dee coolestest classss =D
Timo's bithday present isnt available at the current moment, thanks to some logistic mishaps on the supplier's part...
But I got a feeling that he will like it... LoLz....
(I'm making Timothy ~filled with suspicion.blogspot.com~)
Actually, when I told him that he might like his b'dae present... you guess what he answered...
you GUESS
lolz... Final Fantasy Advent Children... Which wont be out for like a pretty long time still... urgh.. lolz... I should have bought him a whole collection of Final Fantasy memoirs instead...
He'll probably like it...
haha.... I'm kidding... TImo.. dont kill me please....
Well den...
I'll say an extra super-duper long prayer for ya tonight, and ask God to bless ya with da nicest year, of your 1st year into adulthood...
P.S DONT GO CLUBBING WITHOUT ME. ^_^
I'm going brokeeeee... SOO many people's birthday are in MARCH...
haha... I've spent like over 500 this month alone already... record for da year!
Ciaoz peepz!
Ciaoz TIMO!
Its your day ta-day...
You're turning 18 ta-day...
la la la la la la la laaaa...
that makes me the YOUNGEST guy in the class!! hahaha....
BOO! haha!
oh ermz... yah.. still got Jonathan... Nevermind.. he's my twin bro.. so we can both be de-ma youngest boyz in dee coolestest classss =D
Timo's bithday present isnt available at the current moment, thanks to some logistic mishaps on the supplier's part...
But I got a feeling that he will like it... LoLz....
(I'm making Timothy ~filled with suspicion.blogspot.com~)
Actually, when I told him that he might like his b'dae present... you guess what he answered...
you GUESS
lolz... Final Fantasy Advent Children... Which wont be out for like a pretty long time still... urgh.. lolz... I should have bought him a whole collection of Final Fantasy memoirs instead...
He'll probably like it...
haha.... I'm kidding... TImo.. dont kill me please....
Well den...
I'll say an extra super-duper long prayer for ya tonight, and ask God to bless ya with da nicest year, of your 1st year into adulthood...
P.S DONT GO CLUBBING WITHOUT ME. ^_^
Timo - 18 years old
Jason - 18 years old
Ryan - 18 years old
Aizat - 18 years old
James - 18 years old
Me - 17 years old
Jonathan - 17 years old
I'm going brokeeeee... SOO many people's birthday are in MARCH...
haha... I've spent like over 500 this month alone already... record for da year!
Ciaoz peepz!
Ciaoz TIMO!
Monday, March 28, 2005
In the final moments.....
I'm now in the School of Business free access zone... Just completed everything that I needed to do for my WP project...
From conception to finalization... It took almost 4 months... Finally the finished work lies before me... and in another 2 more hours, I will be handing it over for execution to Pingster...
I feel a certain sense of calmness and serenity... as though it was the calm before the storm... I dunno what I feel...
I put in so much effort into this website...
The sleepless nights... the countless hours researching how to do a certain effect on flash....
Just 2 hours ago, my group just handed in the DVPA Examination Project...
Hmm.. maybe when 2 big workloads are lifted from your shoulders, this would be how a person would feel...
But overall, I guess I feel this way because I did my best for my projects...
I could not have done any better, nor could I have did any worse...
=)
Thank God...
... its finally over...
Next up, Economics examination and IPRA examination...
Studying it should be another headache, but definately not as stressful as projects...
I'm so happy again... lolz... I helped so many of my friends for their web project...
I think I can do expert course in flash already.... haha
I've tried almost every single function available to me in Macromedia Flash MX....
I also can go do expert course in Adobe Photoshop already... lolz
I'll go and deform XiaXue's face.... HAHA..
The best part when you help another person is that, not only do you feel a great sense of accomplishment when you manage to solve their problem, you would also be acknowledge... but most importantly, you can learn from the mistakes that other people might have made...
I hope I can get at least 2 distinctions this semester...
Maybe then, I can have a hope to get into the honor's roll... =X
hahaz...
Woopeez.. Guess I shouldnt be writing so much... The final documents have been burned into Sharina's CD-RW...
Its time to go......
Firstly, I would like to thank God for pulling me through...
Then I would like to thank my groupee for supporting me and making me smile even though at times I am feeling down...
And in addition, I would like to thank Sharina for being such a funny gal... lolz.. she makes me laugh..
And last but not least................................ PINGSTER!!!! Pingster helped me sooooo much when I dunno how to do flash and iframe related stuffs...
Haha.... I just helped Aisha (<-- is it spelt correctly? lolz!) print her Film Appreciation documents...
I just love helping people.... =D
From conception to finalization... It took almost 4 months... Finally the finished work lies before me... and in another 2 more hours, I will be handing it over for execution to Pingster...
I feel a certain sense of calmness and serenity... as though it was the calm before the storm... I dunno what I feel...
I put in so much effort into this website...
The sleepless nights... the countless hours researching how to do a certain effect on flash....
Just 2 hours ago, my group just handed in the DVPA Examination Project...
Hmm.. maybe when 2 big workloads are lifted from your shoulders, this would be how a person would feel...
But overall, I guess I feel this way because I did my best for my projects...
I could not have done any better, nor could I have did any worse...
=)
Thank God...
... its finally over...
Next up, Economics examination and IPRA examination...
Studying it should be another headache, but definately not as stressful as projects...
I'm so happy again... lolz... I helped so many of my friends for their web project...
I think I can do expert course in flash already.... haha
I've tried almost every single function available to me in Macromedia Flash MX....
I also can go do expert course in Adobe Photoshop already... lolz
I'll go and deform XiaXue's face.... HAHA..
The best part when you help another person is that, not only do you feel a great sense of accomplishment when you manage to solve their problem, you would also be acknowledge... but most importantly, you can learn from the mistakes that other people might have made...
I hope I can get at least 2 distinctions this semester...
Maybe then, I can have a hope to get into the honor's roll... =X
hahaz...
Woopeez.. Guess I shouldnt be writing so much... The final documents have been burned into Sharina's CD-RW...
Its time to go......
Firstly, I would like to thank God for pulling me through...
Then I would like to thank my groupee for supporting me and making me smile even though at times I am feeling down...
And in addition, I would like to thank Sharina for being such a funny gal... lolz.. she makes me laugh..
And last but not least................................ PINGSTER!!!! Pingster helped me sooooo much when I dunno how to do flash and iframe related stuffs...
Haha.... I just helped Aisha (<-- is it spelt correctly? lolz!) print her Film Appreciation documents...
I just love helping people.... =D
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Haha! This is really very funny... Reminds me of the old school days
Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes
may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban
areas.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper
treatment.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a
range of precious stones and absorbs great
quantities of expensive substances.
2. May explode spontaneously without prior
warning and for unknown cause
3. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly
increases by that.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent
known to man.
TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when
happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better
specimen.
POTENTIAL HAZARD
illegal to possess more than one, although
several can be maintained at different
locations as long as specimens do not come
in direct contact with each other.
!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS
ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL
HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS.
BE CAUTIOUS!
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes
may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban
areas.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper
treatment.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a
range of precious stones and absorbs great
quantities of expensive substances.
2. May explode spontaneously without prior
warning and for unknown cause
3. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly
increases by that.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent
known to man.
TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when
happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better
specimen.
POTENTIAL HAZARD
illegal to possess more than one, although
several can be maintained at different
locations as long as specimens do not come
in direct contact with each other.
!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS
ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL
HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS.
BE CAUTIOUS!
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Teenage Boy Spends Leisure Time Reading Blogs
Reading blogs always can brighten up my day alot...
Lolz!
Was reading Sharina's blog again (for the 10+ time) and though I keep seeing the same entry for her blog, it never fails to make me smile... haha
I can match up to Pingster already I think... I read like almost 30+ different blogs everyday... hmm.. come to think of it, its not really alot....
haha!
I know how to search for bloggys too!
Life is crazy.
Lolz!
Was reading Sharina's blog again (for the 10+ time) and though I keep seeing the same entry for her blog, it never fails to make me smile... haha
I can match up to Pingster already I think... I read like almost 30+ different blogs everyday... hmm.. come to think of it, its not really alot....
haha!
I know how to search for bloggys too!
Life is crazy.
r uminations of r eminiscence
Just had a tiff with my kor...
haiz....
Feeling really sucky now... I snapped at him because I needed to use the computer to do my work... coz my project is due on Monday...
and he snapped back saying that I have a low eq and next time when I'm feeling down, I shouldn come "crawling" to him...
I guess I really have low eq...
I've lost my best friend... I've lost contact with a community of friends that had supported me and stood behind me for so long...
What else must I pay for trying to reach my goal?...
How much more sacrifices must I make?...
I'm going insane...
This week can be said to be one of the most terrible week of my entire life... I've never cried so much...
I was reading a defination of success by Dr Wayne Richards -
Success is balance at is optimum.
Striking a balance between both what factors your success and what causes your success.
Striking a balance between that which is visible and that which lies within.
The perfect balance of the body, mind soul and spirit.
Therefore, success is balance...
I have failed miserably in one side, and gained considerably little on the other.....
I guess I shouldnt have snapped at my brother...
After all.. he is the one that listens to my crap all days while buying back food for dinner when I'm too lazy too cook...
sigh...
But my projects... arrgh.. its killing me..
I've redid my entire layout of the website....
Though I hardly did alot of physical activity yesterday, when I touched the bed, I went into R.E.M sleep level 3 instantly...
My mind was just so tired from the barrage of thoughts...
I wish I had the power to turn back time now....
I used to wish I had the power to teleport.. but now, I think turning back time would be better....
I would rather erase all my mistakes that I have done to hurt people then have people look upon me with snub amazement...
Having friends itself is a miracle...
Friends are the miracle...
I love my friends..
haiz....
Feeling really sucky now... I snapped at him because I needed to use the computer to do my work... coz my project is due on Monday...
and he snapped back saying that I have a low eq and next time when I'm feeling down, I shouldn come "crawling" to him...
I guess I really have low eq...
I've lost my best friend... I've lost contact with a community of friends that had supported me and stood behind me for so long...
What else must I pay for trying to reach my goal?...
How much more sacrifices must I make?...
I'm going insane...
This week can be said to be one of the most terrible week of my entire life... I've never cried so much...
I was reading a defination of success by Dr Wayne Richards -
Success is balance at is optimum.
Striking a balance between both what factors your success and what causes your success.
Striking a balance between that which is visible and that which lies within.
The perfect balance of the body, mind soul and spirit.
Therefore, success is balance...
I have failed miserably in one side, and gained considerably little on the other.....
I guess I shouldnt have snapped at my brother...
After all.. he is the one that listens to my crap all days while buying back food for dinner when I'm too lazy too cook...
sigh...
But my projects... arrgh.. its killing me..
I've redid my entire layout of the website....
Though I hardly did alot of physical activity yesterday, when I touched the bed, I went into R.E.M sleep level 3 instantly...
My mind was just so tired from the barrage of thoughts...
I wish I had the power to turn back time now....
I used to wish I had the power to teleport.. but now, I think turning back time would be better....
I would rather erase all my mistakes that I have done to hurt people then have people look upon me with snub amazement...
Having friends itself is a miracle...
Friends are the miracle...
I love my friends..
Friday, March 25, 2005
3 more days to Projects Due!!!!
(add on for 24/03/05)
Yesterday was the last day of the semester....
I felt surprisingly apprehensive...
The last day of school... That means I wont see my grouppy for a pretty long time...
urgh... sianz....
Nah.. I wont go into another bout of depression... Just wondering what I would do during the holidays...
I have so much stuff to do...
Anywayz... I got 95 marks for Web Publishing.. WOo HoO!
I'm on the path to get a distinction..... i hope....
Well... I got the same marks as May... hahaz.. COMPETITOR!!! *runs away*
I shouldnt be so positive.. by right.. coz the whole class doesnt know their results yet... I have a strange feeling that some people got full marks....
Ms Kwa is surprisingly lenient in this test... I was thinking I would be getting somewhat near to 80...
Ms Kwa!!! ThAnkS!!
(add on for 24/03/05)
I'm stumped for ideas for the doing the website....
The graphics are getting so pixelized... even Adobe illustrator cant do anything about that....
Bah x20
My bros are watching Lord of the Rings next to me... yah.. correct.. the television is less then 30 cm away from the monitor....
Its kinda distracting... =X
Have to hand up DVPA and WP on Monday... I couldn have been more worried... but I'm not... coz results matter little to me compared to my friends now...
I've sacrificed so much for my studies... it is time to regain what I lost...
I hold strong to a believe that nothing on earth is free...
When a person gain something of importance, he loses something of equal importance as well... no more, no less...
The only thing on earth that is free is salvation... the price has already been paid on the cross...
Almost 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ came down, led the way, and came to pay the penalty that a sinner would have to...
He died after severe suffering.. even till the time when His own heavenly father turned His face against Him...
As He died.. He stretched out His hand into the past, present and future and cleansed humankind from the wrath that they would have to suffer...
And paid the ultimate price... He died...
That whosoever would belive in Him, would never perish nor suffer the wrath of God, but have eternal life, together with Him, in paradise forever....
I love Jesus...
I'm now watching Lord of the Rings with my bros also....
Stumbled upon one part where the Steward of Gondor, who had 2 sons, Faramir and Boromir....
Faramir did so much for his country, always playing the back role, and helping his brother in his conquests...
His father never saw any good in him, and scorned him for his barely visible efforts...
I feel like I'm in Faramir's shoes sometimes... hurt not because of the effort I put in, but because nobody was ever around to acknowledge the effort that I put in....
But sometimes I feel like Boromir.. always striving to be the best... Never beliving that I could fail in whatever I do...
My life is a cruel mix of both...
If not for God, and my friends... I am very sure I would not be around on this dimension now...
I love my friends too!
Yesterday was the last day of the semester....
I felt surprisingly apprehensive...
The last day of school... That means I wont see my grouppy for a pretty long time...
urgh... sianz....
Nah.. I wont go into another bout of depression... Just wondering what I would do during the holidays...
I have so much stuff to do...
Anywayz... I got 95 marks for Web Publishing.. WOo HoO!
I'm on the path to get a distinction..... i hope....
Well... I got the same marks as May... hahaz.. COMPETITOR!!! *runs away*
I shouldnt be so positive.. by right.. coz the whole class doesnt know their results yet... I have a strange feeling that some people got full marks....
Ms Kwa is surprisingly lenient in this test... I was thinking I would be getting somewhat near to 80...
Ms Kwa!!! ThAnkS!!
I'm stumped for ideas for the doing the website....
The graphics are getting so pixelized... even Adobe illustrator cant do anything about that....
Bah x20
My bros are watching Lord of the Rings next to me... yah.. correct.. the television is less then 30 cm away from the monitor....
Its kinda distracting... =X
Have to hand up DVPA and WP on Monday... I couldn have been more worried... but I'm not... coz results matter little to me compared to my friends now...
I've sacrificed so much for my studies... it is time to regain what I lost...
I hold strong to a believe that nothing on earth is free...
When a person gain something of importance, he loses something of equal importance as well... no more, no less...
The only thing on earth that is free is salvation... the price has already been paid on the cross...
Almost 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ came down, led the way, and came to pay the penalty that a sinner would have to...
He died after severe suffering.. even till the time when His own heavenly father turned His face against Him...
As He died.. He stretched out His hand into the past, present and future and cleansed humankind from the wrath that they would have to suffer...
And paid the ultimate price... He died...
That whosoever would belive in Him, would never perish nor suffer the wrath of God, but have eternal life, together with Him, in paradise forever....
I love Jesus...
I'm now watching Lord of the Rings with my bros also....
Stumbled upon one part where the Steward of Gondor, who had 2 sons, Faramir and Boromir....
Faramir did so much for his country, always playing the back role, and helping his brother in his conquests...
His father never saw any good in him, and scorned him for his barely visible efforts...
I feel like I'm in Faramir's shoes sometimes... hurt not because of the effort I put in, but because nobody was ever around to acknowledge the effort that I put in....
But sometimes I feel like Boromir.. always striving to be the best... Never beliving that I could fail in whatever I do...
My life is a cruel mix of both...
If not for God, and my friends... I am very sure I would not be around on this dimension now...
I love my friends too!
Friends Forever.....
FRIENDS FOREVER by - MICHAEL W SMITH
Packing up the dreams, God planted...
In the futile soil, of you...
I can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But I'll keep you close, as always
It wont ever seem you've gone...
Cause my heart, in big and small ways...
Will keep the love that kept, us strong...
And friends are friend forever,
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never,
Cause the welcome will not end..
Though it's hard to let you go,
In my Father's hands I know....
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends...
With the faith and love, God giventh
Springing from the hope, we know...
I'll pray for joy you live in...
And the strength that now, you show...
But I'll keep you close, as always
It wont ever seem you've gone..
Cause my heart, in big and small ways..
Will keep the love that kept, us strong...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim got back his results for his econs ICA today...
I dunno why, I just felt disappointed as well... But he still looked very normal outwardly...
Why is it a thing in normal guys to conceal their emotions?
That is something I greatly admire in Jason, cause he isnt afraid to let out his emotions...
Aizat also releases his pent up emotions in certain unique ways.. or should I say bohemian...
well..
Packing up the dreams, God planted...
In the futile soil, of you...
I can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But I'll keep you close, as always
It wont ever seem you've gone...
Cause my heart, in big and small ways...
Will keep the love that kept, us strong...
And friends are friend forever,
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never,
Cause the welcome will not end..
Though it's hard to let you go,
In my Father's hands I know....
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends...
With the faith and love, God giventh
Springing from the hope, we know...
I'll pray for joy you live in...
And the strength that now, you show...
But I'll keep you close, as always
It wont ever seem you've gone..
Cause my heart, in big and small ways..
Will keep the love that kept, us strong...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim got back his results for his econs ICA today...
I dunno why, I just felt disappointed as well... But he still looked very normal outwardly...
Why is it a thing in normal guys to conceal their emotions?
That is something I greatly admire in Jason, cause he isnt afraid to let out his emotions...
Aizat also releases his pent up emotions in certain unique ways.. or should I say bohemian...
well..
I was reading Timothy's blog yesterday... he posted after I posted my entry...
I could not help feeling very sad again...
I still do not understand why does he feel uncomfortable around me....
I dont look like an AJ conspiciously on the exterior... Nor do I talk like one most of the time...
Haiz...
There are times, we cry...
And reach out to the sky...
For the love we need, to hold our heads up high...
- A1 "One in Love"
Ezekial didi... It wasnt your fault that you conveyed the wrong message... You didnt really convey the wrong message... but you dont understand both me and Tim very well...
and... You cant really comprehend the friendship between me and him....
Dont blame yourself... I kinda forced it out of you more then you being willing to tell out...
Have I ever been plastic before?
(note: plastic is putting on a permernent false front in front of a particular person, for various reasons... It may be for a particular group also)
Yes, and that was when me and Ben were archenemies... but that was in the past...
But now... I feel that my actions towards Tim are getting so plastic... especially in front of my friends.... I dont want this to happen... but I just cannot help it...
Sometimes, I reveal my real emotion to him, and he knows that I am glum and still feeling sad about the entire event....
I've only been very plastic to a person once before... I dont want to do it again....
Especially to my... ex-best friend...
I just dont want Sonia, Jason and Sarah to feel worried for Tim or me...
They already have so much on their minds already... I would only be a burden to them...
I copied the IPRA hints for the examination today...
Timothy wasnt around... And I could have just pretended that Mr. Rajan didnt say anything important... Even Jason was contemplating whether to give a copied set of the IPRA hints to his friend who didnt turn up too....
But I did give it to Tim in the end...
Not that I didnt want to give it to him... but... I felt intruding into his space again...
what if he feels awkward?
what if he feels that I like him?
what if he becomes scared again?...
A million paranoid thoughts flooded my mind.. and I began to play the scaling game again...
Balancing the evils and goods of my actions...
I hope he's grateful that I gave him the notes...
Cos... no matter what... I dont want to see him suffer in his studies too...
Friends are friends forever...
Once a friend, always a friend.... through thick and thin, I will support my friends...
Be it rain or shine...
I will be there still for them...
This is my vow, to every of my close friends....
May God grant me strength to keep it....
This is my vow, to every of my close friends....
May God grant me strength to keep it....
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Sigh.......
I just read Timothy's blog...
Some Idiot with a capital "I" went to comment some very unneccesary comments on his blog...
ITS NOT GOING TO HELP!!!
haiz... hope Timothy take it to heart....
Timothy... Dont take any of that comment to heart.... please....
haiz... why must things turn out this way...
God, please help me....
I wish..... that I can just turn back time, and undo all the things that I did... I guess I would be much less of a nuisance...
sigh... so much stuff to do...
Had a small chat with Timothy today....
Apparantly, he didnt really mean it the way that he told Ezekial....
The specs thing was meant to be a joke... But I really hope he was joking... cause... it really hurt me...
I guess there was mostly my mind playing tricks on my also on my part...
Being the pessimist I was, I blew up everything till it became so self-degredery that I didnt see the positive reasons in why he made that decision...
Though... I dont really know why... I hope that Tim had my interest at heart when he said that...
I still feel funny... and a tad awkward when I talk to him still... I just cant look at him in the eye...
Will I be able to enjoy the times I have with him as much as I used to have in the past?
I treasure my friends... alot...
and friends that are close to my heart even more...
I dunno how many times the word "Timothy" has appeared on my blog... But I guess... it will appear alot less now, not only in my blog, but in the very memoirs of my life...
I dont have a best friend now......
Timothy was my best friend, and still is my friend now...
For all those who read my blog, please dont make a mistake in thinking that both me and him's friendship is done for...
I still care for him alot, and I'm sure that he does too...
But... I've lost a best friend...I've always treasured friends, since young... and it has already been inbuilt in me to treat my friends as I would want them to treat me...
I'm on my own to brave the storm, the wind and the rain... God grant me courage, lest should I fall, I will find another who will stretch out their hand to pick me up....
I will find another who will hug me tightly in the midst of the storm, to keep me warm...
I will find another who will walk with me, through the blizzard and the hail... till I reach my final home...
When one door closes, another door opens...God gives, and God takes, I will bless His name forever...
nothing is permenent. But I believe that God is, people are, and thus friends are as well...
I believe in eternal friendship... because, God made it that way...
I know it.
Some Idiot with a capital "I" went to comment some very unneccesary comments on his blog...
ITS NOT GOING TO HELP!!!
haiz... hope Timothy take it to heart....
Timothy... Dont take any of that comment to heart.... please....
haiz... why must things turn out this way...
God, please help me....
I wish..... that I can just turn back time, and undo all the things that I did... I guess I would be much less of a nuisance...
sigh... so much stuff to do...
Had a small chat with Timothy today....
Apparantly, he didnt really mean it the way that he told Ezekial....
The specs thing was meant to be a joke... But I really hope he was joking... cause... it really hurt me...
I guess there was mostly my mind playing tricks on my also on my part...
Being the pessimist I was, I blew up everything till it became so self-degredery that I didnt see the positive reasons in why he made that decision...
Though... I dont really know why... I hope that Tim had my interest at heart when he said that...
I still feel funny... and a tad awkward when I talk to him still... I just cant look at him in the eye...
Will I be able to enjoy the times I have with him as much as I used to have in the past?
I treasure my friends... alot...
and friends that are close to my heart even more...
I dunno how many times the word "Timothy" has appeared on my blog... But I guess... it will appear alot less now, not only in my blog, but in the very memoirs of my life...
I dont have a best friend now......
Timothy was my best friend, and still is my friend now...
For all those who read my blog, please dont make a mistake in thinking that both me and him's friendship is done for...
I still care for him alot, and I'm sure that he does too...
But... I've lost a best friend...I've always treasured friends, since young... and it has already been inbuilt in me to treat my friends as I would want them to treat me...
I'm on my own to brave the storm, the wind and the rain... God grant me courage, lest should I fall, I will find another who will stretch out their hand to pick me up....
I will find another who will hug me tightly in the midst of the storm, to keep me warm...
I will find another who will walk with me, through the blizzard and the hail... till I reach my final home...
When one door closes, another door opens...God gives, and God takes, I will bless His name forever...
nothing is permenent. But I believe that God is, people are, and thus friends are as well...
I believe in eternal friendship... because, God made it that way...
I know it.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
So near, yet so far....
Life, keeping my distance from him feels so strange...
I long to be close, yet I know I cannot...
I'm afraid that he will be afraid yet again...
He looked normal in school today when I met him at 9:00... He looked as if nothing even happened at all... So, I looked as if nothing happened too...
I felt ok... as if nothing had happened too...
But I know that deep inside... he left a vacuum in my heart that needs a friend to fill...
Why do AJs associate so well with gals? The reason, seem rather simple now....
Straight guys are afraid... to hang out with the queer lot, afraid to be branded as one themselves...
Some guy friends I know, are pretty much stronger and are not afraid to make friends with AJs, because they are confident in their own identity. These are the people who will go very far in life... because they do not let circumstances hinder them from socializing....
Anywayz, so, the AJs confide their troubles and sadness to gals, who seem to be rather close to AJs because :
1) They feel safer talking to AJs rather then straight guys (cause they know that no matter what, their intention can never be wrong)
2) Many a times, gals can indentify with situations that the AJs go through in life
3) AJs are interested in many things that only gals could possibly be interested in
4) AJs never bitch about gals
to the gals who read my blog, it would sound pretty strange, but I feel it that way... cos... I have far closer girl-friends that guy friends... except one... who... nevermind...
Life has pretty much rebounded and slapped me left and right in the face...
But its not going to stop me from changing and proving to the people that I can change...
Though many people do not support my decision, I will still go on to give God the glory...
Because, only He deserves all that I am doing for Him...
Seek ye first, the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness... And all these things shell be added unto you...
All I have left is my grouppy... because I know that they will still be around me and comforting me...
I really thank God for them...
Sonia, Jason, Sarah and... Timothy...
I havent eaten much for a long time now.. though I know I must eat to prevent my gastric returning, I... jus cant swallow much food...
My parents are screaming at me.... They know that if I continue to eat so little, I will be hospitalized soon... but... I just dont want to....
I ate a bun and a cup of mash potatoes for this whole day... and the half of yesterday...
I have another 8 hours left.
I long to be close, yet I know I cannot...
I'm afraid that he will be afraid yet again...
He looked normal in school today when I met him at 9:00... He looked as if nothing even happened at all... So, I looked as if nothing happened too...
I felt ok... as if nothing had happened too...
But I know that deep inside... he left a vacuum in my heart that needs a friend to fill...
Why do AJs associate so well with gals? The reason, seem rather simple now....
Straight guys are afraid... to hang out with the queer lot, afraid to be branded as one themselves...
Some guy friends I know, are pretty much stronger and are not afraid to make friends with AJs, because they are confident in their own identity. These are the people who will go very far in life... because they do not let circumstances hinder them from socializing....
Anywayz, so, the AJs confide their troubles and sadness to gals, who seem to be rather close to AJs because :
1) They feel safer talking to AJs rather then straight guys (cause they know that no matter what, their intention can never be wrong)
2) Many a times, gals can indentify with situations that the AJs go through in life
3) AJs are interested in many things that only gals could possibly be interested in
4) AJs never bitch about gals
to the gals who read my blog, it would sound pretty strange, but I feel it that way... cos... I have far closer girl-friends that guy friends... except one... who... nevermind...
Life has pretty much rebounded and slapped me left and right in the face...
But its not going to stop me from changing and proving to the people that I can change...
Though many people do not support my decision, I will still go on to give God the glory...
Because, only He deserves all that I am doing for Him...
Seek ye first, the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness... And all these things shell be added unto you...
All I have left is my grouppy... because I know that they will still be around me and comforting me...
I really thank God for them...
Sonia, Jason, Sarah and... Timothy...
I havent eaten much for a long time now.. though I know I must eat to prevent my gastric returning, I... jus cant swallow much food...
My parents are screaming at me.... They know that if I continue to eat so little, I will be hospitalized soon... but... I just dont want to....
I ate a bun and a cup of mash potatoes for this whole day... and the half of yesterday...
I have another 8 hours left.
Monday, March 21, 2005
I just cannot think now.... everything is happening so fast and leaving my mind in a whirl...
I think I've cried till I cant cry already.... my mum thought I've gone mad... Just coughed out a bit of blood even...
I think I'm dying...
Flashbacks keep running through my head... I cant believe how things are unfolding....
I knew the friendship was on the rocks... but i didnt believe it was so bad till now...
I wonder what ordinary friends do... it feels so wierd to treat him like an ordinary friend now... when I've always been so concerned about him...
why... why must this kind of thing happen?..........
I cant think... its so hard to think... sobz...
I think I've cried till I cant cry already.... my mum thought I've gone mad... Just coughed out a bit of blood even...
I think I'm dying...
Flashbacks keep running through my head... I cant believe how things are unfolding....
I knew the friendship was on the rocks... but i didnt believe it was so bad till now...
I wonder what ordinary friends do... it feels so wierd to treat him like an ordinary friend now... when I've always been so concerned about him...
why... why must this kind of thing happen?..........
I cant think... its so hard to think... sobz...
To him.......
My heart aches very very badly even as I type this....
It hurts so much...
I'm so sorry... though I do not know what I did wrong.......
If what I did was wrong... I guess...
I dont know what a friend would do....
I've cried until my whole collar is soaked in tears...
It hurts... IT HURTS!!!!! my heart hurts like never before.. I do not know why....
I kept asking God for a sign that he never intended to treat me as how i did to him... and God kept returning back answers.... but I just couldn believe it...
Till today...
Best friends? He never intended it to be that way... nor did he ever wanted it to be that way..
It took somebody else to tell me that...
Orange shirt?
Pair of black spectacles?
Other people's gossip and rumours?
Is that enough to shake the friendship between best friends?
Now, let me ask you.. What would Jesus do?
What would He do if He were you?
What would He do if He were me?
Are you afraid? I've known you to be afraid of nothing....
Strong and resiliant, you've braved so many obstacles and survived...
Or is it me?...
Was it my fault that I cared so much for you?
Was it my fault that I loved you like a brother?
Was it my fault taht I stood by you through thick and thin?
WAS IF MY FAULT THAT I FELL FOR YOU? ... and even when I changed... even when I changed... the gap can never be reconciled?....
My heart reeled in pain when I hurt the onslaught of things that I never thought could possible be coming from you.... but on another hand... it did...
I told you my pains and my sorrows... you took them till you could not take anymore...
But you never told me your hurts, your feelings....
All this while... you suffered in silence, till eventually, it overcame you...
Dont you know that you have a special place in my heart? A place where best friends only can stay... but you left.....
I still thought you were still there, when you were not...
Yes. I'm not fit to be your best friend.... But I did what was worthy of a best friend...
I stood by you in your darkest times...
I gave you my best, I gave you what I would not give to a normal person...
No wonder you stopped encouraging me
No wonder you tried to avoid me
No wonder you couldnt look at me in the eyes...
and all this while...
all this while I still foolish clung onto a dying friendship.....
Timothy... you still are my role model, my brother and my friend...
I still hold on to that glimmer of hope that we could be best friends again one day....
But for now... I release you... though you were never bound
Run free in your newfound freedom...
And I pray and hope that you will turn back and remember me for the best that I did for you...
I will still be there, watching your back, cheering you on in whatever path you choose in life...
Now I know how God feels sometimes...
When He loves His children so much... and yet, they pile up so much things that distant themselves so far from Him...
My heart aches... but at least, I know now.....
It hurts so much...
I'm so sorry... though I do not know what I did wrong.......
If what I did was wrong... I guess...
I dont know what a friend would do....
I've cried until my whole collar is soaked in tears...
It hurts... IT HURTS!!!!! my heart hurts like never before.. I do not know why....
I kept asking God for a sign that he never intended to treat me as how i did to him... and God kept returning back answers.... but I just couldn believe it...
Till today...
Best friends? He never intended it to be that way... nor did he ever wanted it to be that way..
It took somebody else to tell me that...
Orange shirt?
Pair of black spectacles?
Other people's gossip and rumours?
Is that enough to shake the friendship between best friends?
Now, let me ask you.. What would Jesus do?
What would He do if He were you?
What would He do if He were me?
Are you afraid? I've known you to be afraid of nothing....
Strong and resiliant, you've braved so many obstacles and survived...
Or is it me?...
Was it my fault that I cared so much for you?
Was it my fault that I loved you like a brother?
Was it my fault taht I stood by you through thick and thin?
WAS IF MY FAULT THAT I FELL FOR YOU? ... and even when I changed... even when I changed... the gap can never be reconciled?....
My heart reeled in pain when I hurt the onslaught of things that I never thought could possible be coming from you.... but on another hand... it did...
I told you my pains and my sorrows... you took them till you could not take anymore...
But you never told me your hurts, your feelings....
All this while... you suffered in silence, till eventually, it overcame you...
Dont you know that you have a special place in my heart? A place where best friends only can stay... but you left.....
I still thought you were still there, when you were not...
Yes. I'm not fit to be your best friend.... But I did what was worthy of a best friend...
I stood by you in your darkest times...
I gave you my best, I gave you what I would not give to a normal person...
No wonder you stopped encouraging me
No wonder you tried to avoid me
No wonder you couldnt look at me in the eyes...
and all this while...
all this while I still foolish clung onto a dying friendship.....
Timothy... you still are my role model, my brother and my friend...
I still hold on to that glimmer of hope that we could be best friends again one day....
But for now... I release you... though you were never bound
Run free in your newfound freedom...
And I pray and hope that you will turn back and remember me for the best that I did for you...
I will still be there, watching your back, cheering you on in whatever path you choose in life...
Now I know how God feels sometimes...
When He loves His children so much... and yet, they pile up so much things that distant themselves so far from Him...
My heart aches... but at least, I know now.....
Watching You
Watching You.....
The times I feel so hurt
When you just walk away
Seeing you pass me by
Without a word to say
Don't you know that I care
Don't you know that I feel
For you...
A million tears all shattered in the darkness
Without a return, no repay...
When you can just walk away
You could'nt care less would you..
After so long, wasting my love
When I knew of nothing in return...
Why did I try so hard
Knowing you would never be able to see...
Knowing that I would not be able to withstand the blow
When you left me...
Your indifferent expressions cut deep
Causing a wound without word or actions
Beyond the silence and the cold
You give warmth to another soul
I wish you peace
I wish you happiness...
You've found yours, I've found mine...
I'll treasure the times we had..
In the cold bank of my memories...
I'll forever be watching you...
Silently helping you...
Knowing I would never be able
To revive the once-glorious past...
I will still be watching you...
my friend...
written by Andrew,
for a friend whom God knows, I care...
Dear God...
I need you help more then ever now... I do not know what is happening to me... and I do not understand why is this things happening to me...
But I entrust my fate into your hands... and come what may, I will follow You till you return me to embrace me in your arms...
I know I've let you down over and over again, so many times.... I wish that I could find a way to tell you how sorry I am...
My heart... hurts alot... please heal it..... I pray... please...
In Jesus' Name....
Amen...
I need you help more then ever now... I do not know what is happening to me... and I do not understand why is this things happening to me...
But I entrust my fate into your hands... and come what may, I will follow You till you return me to embrace me in your arms...
I know I've let you down over and over again, so many times.... I wish that I could find a way to tell you how sorry I am...
My heart... hurts alot... please heal it..... I pray... please...
In Jesus' Name....
Amen...
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Thoughts.....
I was in deep thought throughout this entire day....
About my projects and work... and somehow my thoughts turned and started to wonder how Timothy was doing...
I was eating dinner with my family then...
I suddenly felt a wave of extreme sadness came over me...
haiz.... why must God take away some things so dear to a person's heart?
About my projects and work... and somehow my thoughts turned and started to wonder how Timothy was doing...
I was eating dinner with my family then...
I suddenly felt a wave of extreme sadness came over me...
haiz.... why must God take away some things so dear to a person's heart?
NeW BloG!
Today was a pretty fun day.. =D
Hahaz.... who says you cant laugh in the face of examinations?
lolz..
Anywayz... stated out this morning on a long long trip all the way to this place called coronation plaza to meet my very cool Gen12II team... I was late... (surprise surprise)
Well.. Met up with them in Joshua's house, which was BIG to do our brainstorming for the kids in Charis Childrens Center.... Everybody was so participative and hyper, I think we did finish the brainstorming in less then 2 hours when initially it shouldve bene more...
hahaz... We ate pizza for lunch!! PiZza! I shouldn be able to eat it, but i still ate anyway, ignoring the trobbing pain lingering at my jaw.. hahaz.. I'm getting pretty used to it...
My Gen12II team is cool =D
After the Gen12II meeting, me and michelle went to church to support the youth BBQ event....
Praise God! The turn out was exceptional (in my opinion..) and everybody really had a great time there!
Especially the 2 dogs Mojo and Star- something i think...
I added a flash movie on my blog =)
Do take a look at it....
Hahaz.... who says you cant laugh in the face of examinations?
lolz..
Anywayz... stated out this morning on a long long trip all the way to this place called coronation plaza to meet my very cool Gen12II team... I was late... (surprise surprise)
Well.. Met up with them in Joshua's house, which was BIG to do our brainstorming for the kids in Charis Childrens Center.... Everybody was so participative and hyper, I think we did finish the brainstorming in less then 2 hours when initially it shouldve bene more...
hahaz... We ate pizza for lunch!! PiZza! I shouldn be able to eat it, but i still ate anyway, ignoring the trobbing pain lingering at my jaw.. hahaz.. I'm getting pretty used to it...
My Gen12II team is cool =D
After the Gen12II meeting, me and michelle went to church to support the youth BBQ event....
Praise God! The turn out was exceptional (in my opinion..) and everybody really had a great time there!
Especially the 2 dogs Mojo and Star- something i think...
I added a flash movie on my blog =)
Do take a look at it....
Friday, March 18, 2005
Spirt of God, Rain down on Me....
Spirit of God, rain down on me...
Break all my bonds, set me free...
The Planetshakers Concert was cool! =D
Could really feel the presence of God in the hall all around... The speaker was very charismatic, prophecying (i think this is the spelling) , and preaching about giving......
It could actually stir some denominations up I think... but ah well...
They did play good music!
And I do believe that it is due time that the Christians in Singapore awaken from their slumber and revive Singapore once again!
That people will see the radical side of Christians from the face of every single children of God!
and it is not "one day..." it is "SOON"!
The Spirit of God will sweep Singapore and touch the hearts and minds of every single soul! =D
With love, joy, peace and hope that comes from His hands...
I went to the PS concert with Tim and his youth group... they were a really fun lot of people... but somehow I felt that I couldn really click with them.. coz they had their own friends and all....
They did talk to me... and it was fun talking to them!
well... They have their youth group...
Hope my youth group will become as united as them, or even better, more united...
Oh yah! haha... I was just observing Tim and his sis Pamela sharing stuff (pancake burger - would you believe that there is such stuff on earth even?) and a thought came to my mind... a singular thought that lasted for a very VERY long time in my mind.... until now...
Any gal that Tim actually falls in love with is going ta be one of the most blessed gal in the world... lolz..
If Timo treats his sister so well already, what about his galfriend?
Then I started to wonder... What type of galfriend would Timo like?... then I got stumped and decided not to persue the issue...
Maybe I'm not THAT close to him... bleahz...
Gals out there, there ARE guys that are good... It is whether you can find the right one.. *hint hint*! haha...
well.. at least he's the closest to Mr Perfect that I know... haha....
anywayz.... I decided to erase my name away from the AJ community forever... but they'll still be my friends, but not in the same way again... =)
No longer will I be known as Kyo, as it carries my past, but I'll return to being Andrew....
Soon, my name will be forgotten, but my story will still last in my heart...
I struggle, but I will get over it... God-willing... I will do my best...
wait for me.
Break all my bonds, set me free...
The Planetshakers Concert was cool! =D
Could really feel the presence of God in the hall all around... The speaker was very charismatic, prophecying (i think this is the spelling) , and preaching about giving......
It could actually stir some denominations up I think... but ah well...
They did play good music!
And I do believe that it is due time that the Christians in Singapore awaken from their slumber and revive Singapore once again!
That people will see the radical side of Christians from the face of every single children of God!
and it is not "one day..." it is "SOON"!
The Spirit of God will sweep Singapore and touch the hearts and minds of every single soul! =D
With love, joy, peace and hope that comes from His hands...
I went to the PS concert with Tim and his youth group... they were a really fun lot of people... but somehow I felt that I couldn really click with them.. coz they had their own friends and all....
They did talk to me... and it was fun talking to them!
well... They have their youth group...
Hope my youth group will become as united as them, or even better, more united...
Oh yah! haha... I was just observing Tim and his sis Pamela sharing stuff (pancake burger - would you believe that there is such stuff on earth even?) and a thought came to my mind... a singular thought that lasted for a very VERY long time in my mind.... until now...
Any gal that Tim actually falls in love with is going ta be one of the most blessed gal in the world... lolz..
If Timo treats his sister so well already, what about his galfriend?
Then I started to wonder... What type of galfriend would Timo like?... then I got stumped and decided not to persue the issue...
Maybe I'm not THAT close to him... bleahz...
Gals out there, there ARE guys that are good... It is whether you can find the right one.. *hint hint*! haha...
well.. at least he's the closest to Mr Perfect that I know... haha....
anywayz.... I decided to erase my name away from the AJ community forever... but they'll still be my friends, but not in the same way again... =)
No longer will I be known as Kyo, as it carries my past, but I'll return to being Andrew....
Soon, my name will be forgotten, but my story will still last in my heart...
I struggle, but I will get over it... God-willing... I will do my best...
wait for me.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
LoVe My GrOuPpY!
sometimes... I'll just sit down on the chair, stare out at the dark night sky... and wonder where my life is heading...
Its during these quiet moments when I contemplate what I have done.. To people, to myself and to God...
Its during these times when I can just break down and cry...
call me a kid, call me immature... but when the overwhelming feeling of loneliness envelopes you its hard to ignore the tears that comes to your eyes....
I'm blessed... I have everything that I need, and sometimes, I have what I want too...
I have a family, and I have friends... and I have close friends too...
but at night... when all is gone... you wonder... have you hurt anybody?...
some people dont.. but I do....
I'm accountable for every single thing that I do to people... thats why friends are so important in my life....
First priority, God
Second priority, Future
Third priority, Friends...
Fourth priority, People...
and etc...
do unto others, what you would want others to do unto you...
I try to abide by this principle...
anywayz... I lost my thumb drive... and with it.. all my documents and more....
I was pretty calm and level headed when I realized that I lost it... coz there wasnt any major stuff inside that I had to keep...
but.. now.. come to think of it... I feel pretty handicapped...
arrgh..
I love my grouppy.... JaJa, TiMo, SoNiaP and SaRa!
I hope we can be together forever! =D
My hypothesis that an unrevocable hardness will come over Tim have been proven wrong...
It feels so great to have the same Tim back again... though his priorities now had been adjusted, he's still the same Tim... maybe its because he has a very matured thinking all along...
Sonia and me seem to be pretty hyper these few days... lolz... we keep laughing and smiling at every single thing... oh yah! haha... self-fufilling prophecy works!
one example is Sonia's prediction that Traffic Management will come out for the IPRA test and it DID!! She said that she will get 1 mark for memorizing that point, and SHE DID!!
hahaz! you go gal!!
Jason, aptly renamed JaJa (binks) by errr... someone... is still his same old self too! Lolz.. but he has certainly changed over the time too... Learning to absorb Sarah's sarcarsm harmlessly into his body, it seems that it would take much more to agitate him too!
oh yah! he's love stricken! or love struck... haha... ^_^
Sarah's quality is that she is bitchy. Her weakness is she is bitchy. Her skill is bitching.
hahahaha... Jus kidding... She's becoming more and more of a perfectionist... rather good quality in her me thinks.. but it can become a weakness too...
Haha... she never changes... seems the beginning of school, she has been so sharp.. both in linguistic and mental prowess... Her dominatrix persona has somewhat diminished though...
LMAO!
It will take ALOT for me to let go of my friends.... I love my friends, and my grouppy especiaally...
I love you! You love me! We are one big groupppy!!!
Its during these quiet moments when I contemplate what I have done.. To people, to myself and to God...
Its during these times when I can just break down and cry...
call me a kid, call me immature... but when the overwhelming feeling of loneliness envelopes you its hard to ignore the tears that comes to your eyes....
I'm blessed... I have everything that I need, and sometimes, I have what I want too...
I have a family, and I have friends... and I have close friends too...
but at night... when all is gone... you wonder... have you hurt anybody?...
some people dont.. but I do....
I'm accountable for every single thing that I do to people... thats why friends are so important in my life....
First priority, God
Second priority, Future
Third priority, Friends...
Fourth priority, People...
and etc...
do unto others, what you would want others to do unto you...
I try to abide by this principle...
anywayz... I lost my thumb drive... and with it.. all my documents and more....
I was pretty calm and level headed when I realized that I lost it... coz there wasnt any major stuff inside that I had to keep...
but.. now.. come to think of it... I feel pretty handicapped...
arrgh..
I love my grouppy.... JaJa, TiMo, SoNiaP and SaRa!
I hope we can be together forever! =D
My hypothesis that an unrevocable hardness will come over Tim have been proven wrong...
It feels so great to have the same Tim back again... though his priorities now had been adjusted, he's still the same Tim... maybe its because he has a very matured thinking all along...
Sonia and me seem to be pretty hyper these few days... lolz... we keep laughing and smiling at every single thing... oh yah! haha... self-fufilling prophecy works!
one example is Sonia's prediction that Traffic Management will come out for the IPRA test and it DID!! She said that she will get 1 mark for memorizing that point, and SHE DID!!
hahaz! you go gal!!
Jason, aptly renamed JaJa (binks) by errr... someone... is still his same old self too! Lolz.. but he has certainly changed over the time too... Learning to absorb Sarah's sarcarsm harmlessly into his body, it seems that it would take much more to agitate him too!
oh yah! he's love stricken! or love struck... haha... ^_^
Sarah's quality is that she is bitchy. Her weakness is she is bitchy. Her skill is bitching.
hahahaha... Jus kidding... She's becoming more and more of a perfectionist... rather good quality in her me thinks.. but it can become a weakness too...
Haha... she never changes... seems the beginning of school, she has been so sharp.. both in linguistic and mental prowess... Her dominatrix persona has somewhat diminished though...
LMAO!
It will take ALOT for me to let go of my friends.... I love my friends, and my grouppy especiaally...
I love you! You love me! We are one big groupppy!!!
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
-Euphoria in Harmony-
Weeeee!!! Today is a HAPPY day!!!
Lolz...
I think there has hardly been a time this semester that our group had a chance to be so bonded and be so close to each other... =P
And of all times, it must be the time when we have to get the most things done in the shortest possible time....
we found out a couple of things today...
1) Timo is not very good at playing wierd lame games
2) Jason got "married" because of oral
3) Sonia(s) and computers do not go together
4) Sarah has alot of wierd lame games up her sleeves
Lolz!!! I could laugh till I cry at the "Pasir Ris, Raffles Place, Bugis, Tanah Merah - What station is next" errr... game! hahaha...
and Timo took so long time to get it... bleahz...
Our group is back to our efficient, happy and united self again!!!
Yeah! and I'm NOT depressed! oh.. and I'm NOT AJ!!
err.. yah... I am NOT AJ... coz I'm really not depressed...
lolz...
but then.... (*looks down below*) my mind thing 80% like a women?
wah kaoz... (*bang head violently on the wall*)
hahaz...
bleahz.. waiting for Timothy and Jason to get their IPRA notes that I typed out specially for them... =D
Lolz...
I think there has hardly been a time this semester that our group had a chance to be so bonded and be so close to each other... =P
And of all times, it must be the time when we have to get the most things done in the shortest possible time....
we found out a couple of things today...
1) Timo is not very good at playing wierd lame games
2) Jason got "married" because of oral
3) Sonia(s) and computers do not go together
4) Sarah has alot of wierd lame games up her sleeves
Lolz!!! I could laugh till I cry at the "Pasir Ris, Raffles Place, Bugis, Tanah Merah - What station is next" errr... game! hahaha...
and Timo took so long time to get it... bleahz...
Our group is back to our efficient, happy and united self again!!!
Yeah! and I'm NOT depressed! oh.. and I'm NOT AJ!!
err.. yah... I am NOT AJ... coz I'm really not depressed...
lolz...
but then.... (*looks down below*) my mind thing 80% like a women?
wah kaoz... (*bang head violently on the wall*)
hahaz...
bleahz.. waiting for Timothy and Jason to get their IPRA notes that I typed out specially for them... =D
ok... really ah Andrew... really ah.... =X
Your Brain is 80.00% Female, 20.00% Male |
Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you! |
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
s o r r y . . . . . . .
Had a close talk with a close friend today...
Something had been hitting my mind for a long time since a few months ago....
Somehow... I feel that I'm getting detatched from my closest friends...
Its so scary... the feeling is like getting colder and colder...
I noticed it since I started to succumb to depression...
I'm so scared...
I really dont want to lose my friends....
I love my friends... alot...
sigh... I should have known that depression would have get the better of me... why on earth did I fall into that bottomless pit...
sobz...
maybe I'm thinking too much...
I've lost my sensitivity... and with that.. I've lost almost all I got...
If there is anybody that I made upset or sad... I wanna say I'm really very sorry...
especially to Timothy, Jason, Sarah and Sonia...
You all took the bulk of my outbursts...
ICP is correct... the cycle of perceptions... I want to get out of this horrible cycle... Its starting to get really cold sometimes...
I will not succumb to depression again ok? I promise... I promise, cross my heart.........
Something had been hitting my mind for a long time since a few months ago....
Somehow... I feel that I'm getting detatched from my closest friends...
Its so scary... the feeling is like getting colder and colder...
I noticed it since I started to succumb to depression...
I'm so scared...
I really dont want to lose my friends....
I love my friends... alot...
sigh... I should have known that depression would have get the better of me... why on earth did I fall into that bottomless pit...
sobz...
maybe I'm thinking too much...
I've lost my sensitivity... and with that.. I've lost almost all I got...
If there is anybody that I made upset or sad... I wanna say I'm really very sorry...
especially to Timothy, Jason, Sarah and Sonia...
You all took the bulk of my outbursts...
ICP is correct... the cycle of perceptions... I want to get out of this horrible cycle... Its starting to get really cold sometimes...
I will not succumb to depression again ok? I promise... I promise, cross my heart.........
Monday, March 14, 2005
EZXMS AND TEZTS ^_^
Timo is back! *clap clap cheeerrr*
haha... =P
Got back up and running for our DVPA project... YEAH.... We managed to take a couple of satisfactory establishment shots and fillers...
Hmm... but I'm still not satisfied at the speed of things....
bleahz.. maybe I'm too worried or paranoid or something... I just feel very apprehensive at the speed our project is going...
So much stuff to do... its crazy... one ICA after another.... Term 3 and 4 consists of 8 weeks or something like that... or which there are tests almost every week or so... and after the tests, there is a non-stop transition to the examiation period....
urmz... nothign much to write now... except...
God bless everyone! =D
ciAoz~!
haha... =P
Got back up and running for our DVPA project... YEAH.... We managed to take a couple of satisfactory establishment shots and fillers...
Hmm... but I'm still not satisfied at the speed of things....
bleahz.. maybe I'm too worried or paranoid or something... I just feel very apprehensive at the speed our project is going...
So much stuff to do... its crazy... one ICA after another.... Term 3 and 4 consists of 8 weeks or something like that... or which there are tests almost every week or so... and after the tests, there is a non-stop transition to the examiation period....
urmz... nothign much to write now... except...
God bless everyone! =D
ciAoz~!
Sunday, March 13, 2005
I am STRAIGHT!!!!!
Urgh.. enough of people calling me AJ...
I'm straight. S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T.
Which part of STRAIGHT dont you understand?
I have ALOT of friends in the GLBT community thats all.... association doesnt mean involvement, and involvement doesnt even mean equalization...
Irritance abound...
My life belongs to God now.... No matter how much the world presses me, I will look to God for strength...
bleahz.. anywayz
Wanna thanks all you guyz for praying and showing concern for Timothy... Guess he's feeling much better now... It'll take some time for him to get on his feet, but I know he's strong enough to face this obstacle....
Especially Joanna mei mei and Brenda... Both of them didnt even know Timothy, but yet they prayed very hard for him and asked people to pray for him too... they're such nice galz...
Today, my paster gave a serman on Lazerus and the Rich Man....
There was a certain man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day: And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate full of sores, and desiring to be fed the crumbs which fell from the rich man's table, moreover, the dogs came and licked his sores.
And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom. The rich man also died, and was buried. And in hell he lifted up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom. And he cried and said, "Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue for I am tormented in this flame.
But Abraham said, "Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receiveth thy good tidings, and likewise Lazarus evil things: But now he is comforted, and thou art tormented. And besides all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed, so that they which would pass from hence to you, cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence."
Then he said, "I pray thee therefore, father, that thou wouldst send him to my father's house: For I have five brethren: that he may testify unto them, lest they also come into this place of torment." Abraham said unto him, "They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them."
And he said, "Nay, father Abraham: But if one went unto them from the dead, they will repent." And he said unto him, "If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rose from the dead." Luke 16:19-31
It was rather pretty frightening thought... coz many people.... may not be on the road to the kindom of God..
bleahz.. so many things to do....
I'm straight. S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T.
Which part of STRAIGHT dont you understand?
I have ALOT of friends in the GLBT community thats all.... association doesnt mean involvement, and involvement doesnt even mean equalization...
Irritance abound...
My life belongs to God now.... No matter how much the world presses me, I will look to God for strength...
bleahz.. anywayz
Wanna thanks all you guyz for praying and showing concern for Timothy... Guess he's feeling much better now... It'll take some time for him to get on his feet, but I know he's strong enough to face this obstacle....
Especially Joanna mei mei and Brenda... Both of them didnt even know Timothy, but yet they prayed very hard for him and asked people to pray for him too... they're such nice galz...
Today, my paster gave a serman on Lazerus and the Rich Man....
There was a certain man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day: And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate full of sores, and desiring to be fed the crumbs which fell from the rich man's table, moreover, the dogs came and licked his sores.
And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom. The rich man also died, and was buried. And in hell he lifted up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom. And he cried and said, "Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue for I am tormented in this flame.
But Abraham said, "Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receiveth thy good tidings, and likewise Lazarus evil things: But now he is comforted, and thou art tormented. And besides all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed, so that they which would pass from hence to you, cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence."
Then he said, "I pray thee therefore, father, that thou wouldst send him to my father's house: For I have five brethren: that he may testify unto them, lest they also come into this place of torment." Abraham said unto him, "They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them."
And he said, "Nay, father Abraham: But if one went unto them from the dead, they will repent." And he said unto him, "If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rose from the dead." Luke 16:19-31
It was rather pretty frightening thought... coz many people.... may not be on the road to the kindom of God..
bleahz.. so many things to do....
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Life falls back in place...
Slowly, things are falling back in place....
Its time to wake up my dear friend...
From one dream to another...
There is so much to do, there is so little time...
But still when works there to do, it must be done...
bleahz... work is starting to get on my nerve... I have so much to do... but I just cant concentrate on doing them... I will just do another thing when I get tired of studying...
anywayz... today went to FCMC for the commissioning training... Met my new comrades today... Really cute and cool lot... lolz... even though they are like almost all gals...
I think they must be thinking that I am the very quiet type... hahaha.... Its just because of this irritating braces that makes talking so much of a chore to me...
But most people know me as the really talketive sort...
For once.. Timothy isnt in the conference... somehow... I would always look out for him in such events... at least when I dunno anybody I can stick to him... But... haiz...
really miss him alot... alot alot alot...
when is he coming back...
haven tell him so many stuff.... I miss complaining to him about my life... I miss suan-ning him at every single opportunity I can... I miss asking him how to do stuff...
most of all... I just miss his company....
Went for the worship practice today in the new church.. The high tech sound system is really cool... was playing with the really large control panel...
The 20+ speakers all over the sanctuary each had a mind of their own and had automatic equilizers... the 3 dimensional effects that it had was fantastic.. It made you seem like you're in a professional concert hall...
My own synthesizer's sound was like omg... haha....
bleahz.. my braces still hurt... they've inserted a jaw clamp... now I cant even use my tongue to eat fish..... urhg.... 18 days of porridgy and counting...
seeya readers.... ciaoz..
oh yeah.... please pray for Timothy also too ok? =)
P.S. I wont be putting any interesting facts this week in respect for the event that happened this week... Till next week k?
Its time to wake up my dear friend...
From one dream to another...
There is so much to do, there is so little time...
But still when works there to do, it must be done...
bleahz... work is starting to get on my nerve... I have so much to do... but I just cant concentrate on doing them... I will just do another thing when I get tired of studying...
anywayz... today went to FCMC for the commissioning training... Met my new comrades today... Really cute and cool lot... lolz... even though they are like almost all gals...
I think they must be thinking that I am the very quiet type... hahaha.... Its just because of this irritating braces that makes talking so much of a chore to me...
But most people know me as the really talketive sort...
For once.. Timothy isnt in the conference... somehow... I would always look out for him in such events... at least when I dunno anybody I can stick to him... But... haiz...
really miss him alot... alot alot alot...
when is he coming back...
haven tell him so many stuff.... I miss complaining to him about my life... I miss suan-ning him at every single opportunity I can... I miss asking him how to do stuff...
most of all... I just miss his company....
Went for the worship practice today in the new church.. The high tech sound system is really cool... was playing with the really large control panel...
The 20+ speakers all over the sanctuary each had a mind of their own and had automatic equilizers... the 3 dimensional effects that it had was fantastic.. It made you seem like you're in a professional concert hall...
My own synthesizer's sound was like omg... haha....
bleahz.. my braces still hurt... they've inserted a jaw clamp... now I cant even use my tongue to eat fish..... urhg.... 18 days of porridgy and counting...
seeya readers.... ciaoz..
oh yeah.... please pray for Timothy also too ok? =)
P.S. I wont be putting any interesting facts this week in respect for the event that happened this week... Till next week k?
Friday, March 11, 2005
In the final moments...
I'll be there for you... Through suffering, Through pain. Through happiness and through joy...
that's the promise that a friend makes in his heart when he treasures a friend that is very close to him...
Went with Timothy's family and friends to Mandai crematory to say a last goodbye to his father... It was really very sad... My tears kept rolling down... when I saw how sad his mum was... One can tell that the family is extremely close....
Timothy stood strong by his mum's side... Grieving, but giving his mum the support that she needs...
Finally at the last moment, it was a really heart-wrenching sight to see Timothy's mum calling out her beloved's name... I guess there wasnt a single person in the room who didnt shed a tear... It was all so sad...
but now... Mr Louis Foo is at peace with God in heaven...
Forever under the eternal care of our heavenly father...
Alive and more well then ever.....
He brought up his children to be role models of others, he loved his family with an unceasing passion, and he loved God with all his heart, mind, soul and strength...
If ever I were to be a father, I would follow his example....
After the funeral, the family looked much better...
Thank God for bringing them through this ordeal... I'm sure His hand will guide them as always in life...
At first, while eating, I did not sit with Timothy's friends... somehow, I did not feel "good enough" to be eat with them...
Dont get me wrong though.. They are extremely nice guyz.. Always joking and smiling and offering stuff....
but... I just felt inferior coz they knew Tim much longer then me, and they always seem to have things to talk about...
but in the end they invited me over to eat with them... so I went over to sit....
bleahz.... and I think I asked a stupid insensitive question...
it went something like... "haha... after all this, am I qualified to be your best friend now?"
there was a moment of awkward silence and I wished I didnt say it...
arrgh.. why do I keep doing things in a moment of impulse..
oh yah.. to all those AJs who keep thinking that I'm holding a torch for Tim, plueesssee dont be so dumb already.... He's my best friend... (at least to me)
so what would you do if this happened to YOUR best friend?
sigh...
that's the promise that a friend makes in his heart when he treasures a friend that is very close to him...
Went with Timothy's family and friends to Mandai crematory to say a last goodbye to his father... It was really very sad... My tears kept rolling down... when I saw how sad his mum was... One can tell that the family is extremely close....
Timothy stood strong by his mum's side... Grieving, but giving his mum the support that she needs...
Finally at the last moment, it was a really heart-wrenching sight to see Timothy's mum calling out her beloved's name... I guess there wasnt a single person in the room who didnt shed a tear... It was all so sad...
but now... Mr Louis Foo is at peace with God in heaven...
Forever under the eternal care of our heavenly father...
Alive and more well then ever.....
He brought up his children to be role models of others, he loved his family with an unceasing passion, and he loved God with all his heart, mind, soul and strength...
If ever I were to be a father, I would follow his example....
After the funeral, the family looked much better...
Thank God for bringing them through this ordeal... I'm sure His hand will guide them as always in life...
At first, while eating, I did not sit with Timothy's friends... somehow, I did not feel "good enough" to be eat with them...
Dont get me wrong though.. They are extremely nice guyz.. Always joking and smiling and offering stuff....
but... I just felt inferior coz they knew Tim much longer then me, and they always seem to have things to talk about...
but in the end they invited me over to eat with them... so I went over to sit....
bleahz.... and I think I asked a stupid insensitive question...
it went something like... "haha... after all this, am I qualified to be your best friend now?"
there was a moment of awkward silence and I wished I didnt say it...
arrgh.. why do I keep doing things in a moment of impulse..
oh yah.. to all those AJs who keep thinking that I'm holding a torch for Tim, plueesssee dont be so dumb already.... He's my best friend... (at least to me)
so what would you do if this happened to YOUR best friend?
sigh...
Question 3: The influence of television on children and teenagers is always bad. Is it true?
Television - the grand vizier of information and the all seeing eye.
Undeniably, the silver screen is something that has become an indispensable source of information in our increasingly technologically advanced culture. However, not all of these information are morally beneficial or even mutually beneficial.
No matter how open our minds are to the issues and images screened on the television, the younger generation like the toddlers to the adolescents may not hold the same sentiments.
So the question is "Is it true that the influence of television on children and teenagers are always bad?" The answer is yes, and no.
A teenager walks into school with a gun he bought from a nearby arms store. He walks into the same classroom he studies in daily and points the gun his rivals head. In a split second, his classmate lies in a pool of blood on the floor. He laughs casually as if nothing actually happened. Graphic, but this actually happened in Texas a few years ago.
Should we attribute this to the increasing violence shown on television? A survey done recently by a government agency shows that an average American family watches about six hours of television daily.
The Chinese have a story where a man took a frog from the pond, and placed it in a pot filled with water. He heated the water very slowly, and as the water got hotter, the frog thought to itself "Oh! Its getting warmer! Home... But actually its quite comfortable.". And this went on till the frog was cooked. The frog didn't even make a sound.
The point in this story is that as more and more undesirable acts are being shown on television, we slowly get used to it. Soon, we are literally numb to the immoralilties that are aired now and there on the silver screen.
How much more for the youngsters who do not have a mind that is discerning enough to tell that the scantily clad women in front of his face is not the norm?
However, notwithstanding, I still remember the days of Sesamene Street and 101 Questions where television opened my eyes to the cultures of the world while providing foundation for my information bank.
With advancing technology, there are shows that we could only dream of in the past like interactive 3-D adventure quests and WhoWhatWhenWhy where kids nowadays can experience a whole new feeling to the age old definition of education. Learning your Ps and Qs have never been more fun too.
But balancing both the goodness and the hideous side of the goggle box, we now know that television is not always bad for the younger generation. But we still need to bear in mind the negative influences that it can have on them.
Parents have a very important role in teaching their children what is right from wrong, thus bringing them up to be moral individuals. I believe that if parents can stay by their child's side while their children watch shows, and inform them if the actions that is being screened is correct or wrong, the negative impact that may occur would be lessened.
In addition, the government may consider shifting the more graphic or explicit shows to later at night when the children are asleep.
The frog in the pot may feel comfortable by the heat, however, we can keep putting ice to cool down the water in the pot, and eventually, when the ice melts, the water level would be high enough for the frog to leap out of the pot and into freedom.
Undeniably, the silver screen is something that has become an indispensable source of information in our increasingly technologically advanced culture. However, not all of these information are morally beneficial or even mutually beneficial.
No matter how open our minds are to the issues and images screened on the television, the younger generation like the toddlers to the adolescents may not hold the same sentiments.
So the question is "Is it true that the influence of television on children and teenagers are always bad?" The answer is yes, and no.
A teenager walks into school with a gun he bought from a nearby arms store. He walks into the same classroom he studies in daily and points the gun his rivals head. In a split second, his classmate lies in a pool of blood on the floor. He laughs casually as if nothing actually happened. Graphic, but this actually happened in Texas a few years ago.
Should we attribute this to the increasing violence shown on television? A survey done recently by a government agency shows that an average American family watches about six hours of television daily.
The Chinese have a story where a man took a frog from the pond, and placed it in a pot filled with water. He heated the water very slowly, and as the water got hotter, the frog thought to itself "Oh! Its getting warmer! Home... But actually its quite comfortable.". And this went on till the frog was cooked. The frog didn't even make a sound.
The point in this story is that as more and more undesirable acts are being shown on television, we slowly get used to it. Soon, we are literally numb to the immoralilties that are aired now and there on the silver screen.
How much more for the youngsters who do not have a mind that is discerning enough to tell that the scantily clad women in front of his face is not the norm?
However, notwithstanding, I still remember the days of Sesamene Street and 101 Questions where television opened my eyes to the cultures of the world while providing foundation for my information bank.
With advancing technology, there are shows that we could only dream of in the past like interactive 3-D adventure quests and WhoWhatWhenWhy where kids nowadays can experience a whole new feeling to the age old definition of education. Learning your Ps and Qs have never been more fun too.
But balancing both the goodness and the hideous side of the goggle box, we now know that television is not always bad for the younger generation. But we still need to bear in mind the negative influences that it can have on them.
Parents have a very important role in teaching their children what is right from wrong, thus bringing them up to be moral individuals. I believe that if parents can stay by their child's side while their children watch shows, and inform them if the actions that is being screened is correct or wrong, the negative impact that may occur would be lessened.
In addition, the government may consider shifting the more graphic or explicit shows to later at night when the children are asleep.
The frog in the pot may feel comfortable by the heat, however, we can keep putting ice to cool down the water in the pot, and eventually, when the ice melts, the water level would be high enough for the frog to leap out of the pot and into freedom.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Sad week.....
Haiz... I donno how many time I cried this week already.... I've lost count....
Was listening to Sarah McLacthlan's - I Love You... Teared a little cause the song is about a person who forgot to tell the person that she loved that she loved him. And by the time she wanted to tell him, it was too late already...
Reminds me all so much that I always wanted to tell my parents that I loved them... but never had the courage to... cause they would think that I'm half-insane from all the stress that I've been getting....
Came back from Tim's father's remembrance service... was feeling very hungry cause I only ate a few sandwiches for the whole day only..
My father saw that I had been eating porridge after porridge for almost a fortnight and decided that I should not have to suffer so much and specially went down to Serengoon to buy my famous Tosai to eat...
I was so touched when I saw the food... Though I couldn bring myself to hug him and tell him thank you, I still smiled gratefully at him.... and he smiled back!
I felt so blessed... I still have a father who cares for me....
I love my family...
Went to visit Timothy along with Sarah and Sonia today during lunch break... after DVPA, I went back to see Timothy....
saw Mr Loh and Mr Rajan came and left
saw May, Flora and Becky came and left
saw Ms Annie Cheung and her friend came and left
saw Ms Kwa and Ms Nga came and left
saw SPCC people came and left...
I'm so happy that Timothy has so many people who care for him...
still..
I will miss the old Timothy...
The new Timothy will be much more matured, serious and strong... being the man of the house now, he will not be able to spend so much time with his friends doing unneccesary stuff like sitting for long hours and crapping away...
But still, he will always be the same Timothy that I respect and admire...
My bestest of the bestest friend, leader, brother, teacher, comforter and confider...
Friends Forever
Treasure life, live it as though tomorrow will never come, do the best for today for the people around you...
P.S. Actually I have a MUCH MUCH longer post... just that blogger cock up last minute and deleted it... bleahz
Was listening to Sarah McLacthlan's - I Love You... Teared a little cause the song is about a person who forgot to tell the person that she loved that she loved him. And by the time she wanted to tell him, it was too late already...
Reminds me all so much that I always wanted to tell my parents that I loved them... but never had the courage to... cause they would think that I'm half-insane from all the stress that I've been getting....
Came back from Tim's father's remembrance service... was feeling very hungry cause I only ate a few sandwiches for the whole day only..
My father saw that I had been eating porridge after porridge for almost a fortnight and decided that I should not have to suffer so much and specially went down to Serengoon to buy my famous Tosai to eat...
I was so touched when I saw the food... Though I couldn bring myself to hug him and tell him thank you, I still smiled gratefully at him.... and he smiled back!
I felt so blessed... I still have a father who cares for me....
I love my family...
Went to visit Timothy along with Sarah and Sonia today during lunch break... after DVPA, I went back to see Timothy....
saw Mr Loh and Mr Rajan came and left
saw May, Flora and Becky came and left
saw Ms Annie Cheung and her friend came and left
saw Ms Kwa and Ms Nga came and left
saw SPCC people came and left...
I'm so happy that Timothy has so many people who care for him...
still..
I will miss the old Timothy...
The new Timothy will be much more matured, serious and strong... being the man of the house now, he will not be able to spend so much time with his friends doing unneccesary stuff like sitting for long hours and crapping away...
But still, he will always be the same Timothy that I respect and admire...
My bestest of the bestest friend, leader, brother, teacher, comforter and confider...
Friends Forever
Treasure life, live it as though tomorrow will never come, do the best for today for the people around you...
P.S. Actually I have a MUCH MUCH longer post... just that blogger cock up last minute and deleted it... bleahz
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
To Return Home....
Life is just a journey... I'm just passing thru'...
I cried at least 4 times during the service....
I kept asking God why must He take away Timothy's father....
It is so unfair... Timothy's family is such a happy family.... one of the happiest that I ever knew...
Timothy is still stood firm, shedding a few tears, but standing resolute in absolute trust in God...
I've never admired him as much as I had today...
The willpower that he took to stand under such circumstances must be tremendous...
and to think that less then a week ago, I was suan-ning Tim that his family is the best in the entire world... and I would give anything to become him...
and with a cruel twist of fate.. this happens....
My best friend's father.... A jovial and happy person... always cheering people whenever he went... always a sociable person....
With whatever knowledge I know of him, I know that he is a father that many would wish they had.... His legacy will last forever, reflected in the life of his children....
haiz... to think that less then a month ago, I just saw his happy and cheerful face...
shucks... i'm crying again....
class... if you're reading my blog... please support him ok?...
You all are the best...
Life... death.. what difference does it make if a person only strives for self-acheivement..
I want to be like Timothy's father... who made an impact on so many people, whom so many people can remember him for so many good things.....
From now on, I will strive to make the people around me happy and I'll help them in whatever ways I can...
"Though the fire has burnt out long before... The legend never will...." - Elton John, Candle in the Wind
I cried at least 4 times during the service....
I kept asking God why must He take away Timothy's father....
It is so unfair... Timothy's family is such a happy family.... one of the happiest that I ever knew...
Timothy is still stood firm, shedding a few tears, but standing resolute in absolute trust in God...
I've never admired him as much as I had today...
The willpower that he took to stand under such circumstances must be tremendous...
and to think that less then a week ago, I was suan-ning Tim that his family is the best in the entire world... and I would give anything to become him...
and with a cruel twist of fate.. this happens....
My best friend's father.... A jovial and happy person... always cheering people whenever he went... always a sociable person....
With whatever knowledge I know of him, I know that he is a father that many would wish they had.... His legacy will last forever, reflected in the life of his children....
haiz... to think that less then a month ago, I just saw his happy and cheerful face...
shucks... i'm crying again....
class... if you're reading my blog... please support him ok?...
You all are the best...
Life... death.. what difference does it make if a person only strives for self-acheivement..
I want to be like Timothy's father... who made an impact on so many people, whom so many people can remember him for so many good things.....
From now on, I will strive to make the people around me happy and I'll help them in whatever ways I can...
"Though the fire has burnt out long before... The legend never will...." - Elton John, Candle in the Wind
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
A death of a best friend's father
Life is so fragile....
A swaying flame in the midst of a snowstorm...
Ready to extinguish at the mere hint of wind...
Timothy's father passed away this morning...
When I saw the message, I cried... I dunno why...
I just felt very very very sad...
Timothy's family means alot to him.. and I mean ALOT...
I have seen few people as devoted to his family as Timothy is...
Timothy... my dear friend... if you ever read this, this song is dedicated to you and your father...
A swaying flame in the midst of a snowstorm...
Ready to extinguish at the mere hint of wind...
Timothy's father passed away this morning...
When I saw the message, I cried... I dunno why...
I just felt very very very sad...
Timothy's family means alot to him.. and I mean ALOT...
I have seen few people as devoted to his family as Timothy is...
Timothy... my dear friend... if you ever read this, this song is dedicated to you and your father...
In life he gave you the best,
The solitary man
Though he trusted God in everything
With love when'ere he send...
Though he walks with Him now,
Hand in hand,
in a kingdom all aglow..
But his footsteps, left on your memory
Writes the legend of your,
Hero
Goodbye for now, I'll see you again
In time in heav'n again...
I'll walk with you in joyous peace...
My father and my friend...
I'm sure you'll be proud of me...
For I've never let you down...
Cos I live now as a legacy,
In the memory of your smile...
Written by Andrew
for Timothy
Take care my dear friend....
Hope to see ya soon... My heart goes out to you and your family...
Dear Jesus, I know that you can do everything and nothing is impossible for you...
I know that you are the beginning and ending of everything...
I pray for Timothy, Lord... May it be done according to Your divine will...
Lord I pray for You to give him strength...
Give him courage to face the future...
For we know that your will only contains good things in store for us...
I pray that You grant him wisdom, now that he is one of the head of the family,
Wisdom to lead, wisdom to guide, and wisdom to live...
I pray that You grant him hope, as a shining torch for life ahead...
Hope in You, hope in life, hope in his future...
I pray that You grant him peace, to sooth his troubled heart....
Peace to overcome sadness, peace to overcome fear, and peace in You...
I pray that You grant him faith, in order to trust and believe in Your will for him...
I pray for his family, grant them peace of mind and trust that their leader has returned to your loving arms....
I pray for your blessing upon the family, grant that they will be blessed even more now in troubled times...
I pray for your hand upon the family, lift them up and shelter them under your wings, protect them and give them courage to fight on for you...
For the Kingdom, the power and the glory are yours, now and forever, in Jesus name I pray all these... Amen.
"Fear not! For I am with you" says the Lord
Friday, March 04, 2005
OUCH.
Did my jaw surgery.... IT HURTS!!!
OW....... damm pain... hurts like hell.... imagine a millions splinters piercing your gums, and having all of your teeth having cavities...
my teeth has been very healthy all along.... and I haven felt like this before... not a single cavity or decay.. but my teeth feels as though a billion bacteria has been injected into my mouth and its hammering at my nerves...
During the operation, the dentist took 15 mins to take out each tooth.. EACH tooth,... took over an hour to extract all the teeth, with 18 jabs of the needle... My whole body was shivering and cold with sweat... everytime he drilled to split a tooth, the nerve impulses would send my whole body in a shivering fit... it hurts ALOT...
Then when the worse we supposed to be over, he applied the braces.... and started twisting... the agony was multiplied when the anesthatic wore out... every twist made my body jerk in pain... OW...
the dentist explain that my case was the most difficult that he did this entire year.... and that anybody who had my type of bone strength and structure, would scream in pain if he or she were put through what i went through...
I didnt scream... just a gasp came out.. knowing that the operation is done...
But the pain didnt stop there... I'll be having extreme pain for the next few days as the teeth gets use to the braces....
Like now... I feel as if I have a permernant migrain....
arrgh...
I've been in such a bad mood recently... sorry to all those that I sharped at...
especially Timothy.... he took the bulk of my mood swing due to my braces when I saw his hyper-fantastic website....
I'm so sorry Timothy... you worked hard too...
I just wasnt in the right frame of mind.....
haiz.. back ta econs.... gotta study econs-econs-econs..........
Today's Interesting Fact:
Anti-modem laws restrict Internet access in the country of Burma. Illegal possession of a modem can lead to a prison term. (what??? no modem? how idiotic.... such a moronic government should be hanged upside down and spanked a million times on the rear! *hint.. I'm doing this to see if any burmese tag on my blog.. if they do, my fact isnt real*)
My braces set are complete...
I look uglier then before...
sobz.....
Kyo is afraid
OW....... damm pain... hurts like hell.... imagine a millions splinters piercing your gums, and having all of your teeth having cavities...
my teeth has been very healthy all along.... and I haven felt like this before... not a single cavity or decay.. but my teeth feels as though a billion bacteria has been injected into my mouth and its hammering at my nerves...
During the operation, the dentist took 15 mins to take out each tooth.. EACH tooth,... took over an hour to extract all the teeth, with 18 jabs of the needle... My whole body was shivering and cold with sweat... everytime he drilled to split a tooth, the nerve impulses would send my whole body in a shivering fit... it hurts ALOT...
Then when the worse we supposed to be over, he applied the braces.... and started twisting... the agony was multiplied when the anesthatic wore out... every twist made my body jerk in pain... OW...
the dentist explain that my case was the most difficult that he did this entire year.... and that anybody who had my type of bone strength and structure, would scream in pain if he or she were put through what i went through...
I didnt scream... just a gasp came out.. knowing that the operation is done...
But the pain didnt stop there... I'll be having extreme pain for the next few days as the teeth gets use to the braces....
Like now... I feel as if I have a permernant migrain....
arrgh...
I've been in such a bad mood recently... sorry to all those that I sharped at...
especially Timothy.... he took the bulk of my mood swing due to my braces when I saw his hyper-fantastic website....
I'm so sorry Timothy... you worked hard too...
I just wasnt in the right frame of mind.....
haiz.. back ta econs.... gotta study econs-econs-econs..........
Today's Interesting Fact:
Anti-modem laws restrict Internet access in the country of Burma. Illegal possession of a modem can lead to a prison term. (what??? no modem? how idiotic.... such a moronic government should be hanged upside down and spanked a million times on the rear! *hint.. I'm doing this to see if any burmese tag on my blog.. if they do, my fact isnt real*)
My braces set are complete...
I look uglier then before...
sobz.....
Kyo is afraid
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Lolz... funny diseases
Haha... got this very funny entry from some one's blog...
Common Asian Diseases known to Singapore
Assma - Severe rashes around the mouth caused by kissing too much ass, the No. 1 disease in Malaysia. Civil servants are unusually at risk.
Dialarrhoea - Uncontrollable urge to continually dial friends on mobile phone to share with them such important information as "I'm now on the LRT" or "I'm walking towards the car." Victims can be recognised by large, twitching thumb.
Meesles - Blotchy skin condition caused by eating too many packets of instant noodles.
Multiple Spousosis - Affliction whereby victims make frequent trips to Thailand, Indonesia, and China to take on additional brides. Middle-aged men are at significant risk.
Yellow Fever - Compulsion to date Asian females. Very common affliction amongst foreign talent/expatriates working in Singapore. Also known as Pinkerton's Disease.
Totonus - Flushed complexion, high blood pressure and sometimes depression at finding out one has not touched lottery.
Heavytitis - Excessively large breasts. This disease comes in several variant strains: Heavytitis A, Heavytitis B, Heavytitis C and sometimes Heavytitis DD.
Cybertension - Feelings of stress and panic caused by lack of internet access.
Dyebetes - A compulsive need to colour one's hair. Reddish brown tints are the most common symptom, but health authorities have reported a new strain of blond highlights.
Chicken Tox - Victims exhibit a great need to talk c***. Incurable and highly contagious. Spread by ordinary conversation, and may be exacerbated by good food and alcohol. Politicians and lawyers are especially susceptible. Incurable.
Common Asian Diseases known to Singapore
Assma - Severe rashes around the mouth caused by kissing too much ass, the No. 1 disease in Malaysia. Civil servants are unusually at risk.
Dialarrhoea - Uncontrollable urge to continually dial friends on mobile phone to share with them such important information as "I'm now on the LRT" or "I'm walking towards the car." Victims can be recognised by large, twitching thumb.
Meesles - Blotchy skin condition caused by eating too many packets of instant noodles.
Multiple Spousosis - Affliction whereby victims make frequent trips to Thailand, Indonesia, and China to take on additional brides. Middle-aged men are at significant risk.
Yellow Fever - Compulsion to date Asian females. Very common affliction amongst foreign talent/expatriates working in Singapore. Also known as Pinkerton's Disease.
Totonus - Flushed complexion, high blood pressure and sometimes depression at finding out one has not touched lottery.
Heavytitis - Excessively large breasts. This disease comes in several variant strains: Heavytitis A, Heavytitis B, Heavytitis C and sometimes Heavytitis DD.
Cybertension - Feelings of stress and panic caused by lack of internet access.
Dyebetes - A compulsive need to colour one's hair. Reddish brown tints are the most common symptom, but health authorities have reported a new strain of blond highlights.
Chicken Tox - Victims exhibit a great need to talk c***. Incurable and highly contagious. Spread by ordinary conversation, and may be exacerbated by good food and alcohol. Politicians and lawyers are especially susceptible. Incurable.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Spring! =) Fits me pretty well though...
You are a spring. You are very mellow most of the
time except for the caffine season (which is
year round) but you are also a very nice
person. When people tick you off though God
better save them. lol You are a fairly
socialable person because people know you won't
get mad too easy or seem to. But you are a very
nice peron over all. ^-^
What Season Best Fits You? (anime pics)
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